


the perfect amount of carelessness

by purpletulips



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, nyumoon are in a established relationship, others are just mentioned - Freeform, they're sort of eric's love mentors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26147068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpletulips/pseuds/purpletulips
Summary: As chaotic as his life has always been, Eric had the constant feeling a crucial piece of his coming-of-age arc was missing — until he realizes he's in love with two of his closest friends, that is.
Relationships: Heo Hyunjoon | Hwall/Kim Sunwoo, Heo Hyunjoon | Hwall/Kim Sunwoo/Son Youngjae | Eric, Heo Hyunjoon | Hwall/Son Youngjae | Eric, Kim Sunwoo/Son Youngjae | Eric
Comments: 14
Kudos: 103





	the perfect amount of carelessness

**Author's Note:**

> hello, everyone! hope you're well!  
> here's some stuff you should be aware of before you read:
> 
> — this is extremely silly. it's unapologetically fluffy and soft and very much high schoolers in love  
> — i began writing this SO long ago lol so hyunjun's name is still romanized like it used to be  
> — this fic is entirely from eric's point of view which means there's gonna be a focus on his dynamics!  
> — i love tbz 00line past and present and they deserve lots of love!
> 
> with that being said, i hope you have a nice read! heh

Eric is your ordinary, run-of-the-mill bilingual high school student: he plays baseball, has average grades and likes skateboarding.

There are some things about him that aren't very common, though, like the fact that he has a lisp, he's surprisingly good at performing girl group dance routines, dressed as a princess for Halloween multiple times and is obsessed with the color pink. Because of those things, he gets teased a lot, both by his schoolmates and his neighborhood friends. 

He tries not to pay attention to them or take them too seriously. Kevin, his childhood friend, says they're jealous of how open about his interests he is. He says there's nothing like being your true self without restraints, and advises Eric to never change. Jacob, his friend who has already graduated from school, tells him teenagers are assholes and it'll get better as he grows up and goes to college. Hyunjoon, his classmate, tells him to stop whining and help him find his trenchcoat, which isn't helpful or uplifting in the slightest, but Hyunjoon's presence is a reliable comfort in itself. 

Life is good. Great, even.

Until the Kim Sunwoo nation attacked. 

Kim Sunwoo is Eric’s neighbor, who has moved to the house next to his a few months ago. Kim Sunwoo, unlike his other neighborhood friends, doesn’t tease him for liking pink clothes or knowing ITZY choreographies. Kim Sunwoo offers him food his mom made and plays soccer with him. Kim Sunwoo is an idol trainee, his hair is dyed dark red, he’s cool, his smile is very cute and his voice is nice to listen to.

Their neighborhood has a skatepark, which Eric really enjoys, because he gets to do his tricks there and he’s moderately good at it. He earns people’s respect by knowing how to do the ollie, which is stupid because he’s a decent person and should be respected regardless of his skateboarding skills. 

However, when Kim Sunwoo shows up at the park, it makes Eric really nervous, and he can’t do any of his cool tricks.

Also, one day they're sitting on a bench together, and Eric is wearing his favorite pink shirt and his summer break has officially started, so he's feeling cheery. 

Sunwoo looks pretty under the sun, so Eric blames that and his good mood for what he blurts out. "Your hair color really suits you."

Sunwoo grabs one of the red strands and laughs, embarrassed. "Thanks, man. Have you dyed your hair before?"

"Nope, I'm a virgin," Eric says without thought then immediately regrets it "I mean! My hair's a virgin. Not that I'm not a virgin, but what I wanted to say was my hair's never been colored, but I'm stupid, so."

Sunwoo smirks. "It's always so much information with you, I don't even have to work for it."

"Shut up," Eric replies, blushing fiercely.

"I think you should dye your hair," Sunwoo comments bemusedly, moving closer to examine Eric's face "Pink would look cute."

  
  


Hyunjoon sighs when he hears it. "Another crush?"

They go to dance school together, meaning Eric trusts Heo Hyunjoon with his life. He knows about Eric's crush on their former senior Lee Juyeon, on Lee Daehwi who works at the library, on Yoon Sanha from his neighborhood, on Park Jihoon from his group therapy. Hyunjoon teases Eric for giving his heart out too easily, meanwhile Eric teases Hyunjoon for being a heartless robot. 

"Is he straight?" Hyunjoon asks, playing Pokemon on Eric's Nintendo Switch.

"Dunno," Eric sniffs "He said I was cute."

Hyunjoon snorts. "Youngjae, he said the color would look cute on you, which could be a perfectly platonic compliment."

"Why are you so mean to me?" Eric crosses his arms.

"I'm just looking out for your heart, buttercup," Hyunjoon smiles at him, and as friends who have been together for so long there's some stuff you should’ve gotten used to already, but Eric can't quite wrap his head around how stunning Hyunjoon looks sometimes "I do think he's right about the pink hair, too."

Eric laughs. "I'll bleach it if you bleach it."

"Me?" Hyunjoon tilts his head to the side "Won't it look weird?"

Eric raises his eyebrows. "Are you fishing for compliments? Of course it won't look weird, when has anything ever looked weird on you?"

Something warm flashes on Hyunjoon's eyes for a millisecond before he goes back to displaying his usual confidence. "You're right. I can pull it off."

  
  


Kevin has a boyfriend. 

He's pretty, he has purple hair, he's feisty and Eric thinks he's in love with him. To his credit, Hyunjoon seems a little bit in love too, and when the boy opens his mouth only to reveal the most delicate voice ever the two of them physically swoon. 

"I'm introducing y'all because you said you wanted to dye your hair," Kevin grins his boxy, awkward grin at his boyfriend "Chanhee is kind of a specialist."

"That's a bit of a stretch, baby," Chanhee smiles so sweetly Hyunjoon pokes Eric's ribs as if saying _are you seeing this?_

Unfortunately, Eric is seeing the cheesiness up and close. It's cute, though. Kevin definitely deserves someone pretty to gas him up. 

“Mom, I’m dying my hair pink,” Eric says during dinner. He decides, strategically, to tell her when Hyunjoon’s sleeping over, because she doesn’t like to scream at him in front of guests. She’s not particularly conservative, seeing how accepting she is of his career choice and his unusual tastes. She’s never called him names or put heavy expectations on him, but she worries a lot about whether others will treat him badly.

Hyunjoon chokes on his green tea. Eric’s sister, bless her soul, holds his hands under the table while his mother snorts disbelievingly. “With whose money are you doing that?”

“Grandma gives me pocket money from time to time,” he reveals, still tentative “And I’m saving it so I can afford buying stuff I want, like a new skateboard and hair dye.”

His mom shrugs. She doesn’t seem disgusted or outraged, so that’s great, because he really wants to do this. “Well, you’re still a teenager. If he messes up his hair too badly he can fix it, right?”

His sister laughs. “Yeah, I’ll be sure to help him with that.”

Chanhee comes over three days later and fulfills his promise, while Hyunjoon is at the kitchen helping Eric’s mother with lunch. Chanhee gives him tips on how to take care of his hair, the brands that work best for him and even gifts him some products. Eric looks at his hair in the mirror and he loves it, loves the shade, loves how it matches his skin, loves how smooth it looks despite having gone through so much bleaching. He takes a selfie and sends it to Kevin, to Jacob and to some of his classmates.

Hyunjoon opens the door to Eric's room. "Fuck, are you deaf? The food is…"

He stops. Stares at Eric wordlessly, which threatens to drive him into insecurity. Does he look stupid? He looks at Chanhee for reassurance and the older boy smirks at the both of them, seeming amused.

"What?" Eric asks and he hugs himself out of reflex.

That brings Hyunjoon out of his stupor. He shakes his head. "Um. Your mom's been calling you."

"We were taking pictures," Chanhee says, too innocently "What do you think? Did I do a good job?"

"Yeah," Hyunjoon says, avoiding looking at anything but the floor "Anyways, Youngjae, food's ready. I'll wait for you downstairs."

He closes the door hastily and Eric has never felt more confused in his eighteen years of living. "What's his problem?"

Chanhee bursts into laughter, covers his mouth with his hands and giggles until he's red. "Oh my God, teenagers are a piece of work. He was _checking you out_ , kiddo. He thinks you look pretty."

Eric sputters. "Wha- No. Stop. Me? He wouldn't. I mean, he hasn't before! Nothing flusters Hyunjoonie."

"Apparently, you do," Chanhee shrugs, still grinning "You know what? I'll get going. Ask him if he liked your hair and let me know what he answers, hm?"

Eric thinks that sounds strange, because being bashful and avoidant doesn't suit the Hyunjoon he knows. Whenever he's interested in someone, he doesn't hesitate to demonstrate it in a rather straightforward way. Still, when night falls and they're back inside the bedroom, Eric tests the waters. “Do you think I look too ugly?”

Hyunjoon turns to him with a frown. “Not at all. I said you looked good.”

“You never said that.” Eric crosses his arms, looking more sulky than intimidating.

Hyunjoon, surprisingly, blushes. “I was embarrassed. The closer I am to people, the harder it is for me to give out compliments, and Chanhee was being weird about it. Sorry I wasn’t reassuring.”

 _See, Chanhee?_ Eric thinks to the imaginary purple-haired boy inside his brain. _He wasn’t checking me out! He was just shy._ He shrugs. “Nah, man, it’s chill. I know your heart.”

“Do you, now,” Hyunjoon smirks then stretches himself on Eric’s bed like a cat “I’m gonna dye my hair tomorrow afternoon at the hair salon and meet you at the park later.”

Eric tilts his head, confused. “Are you sure you wanna hang there?”

He can’t help but feel uneasy. While he’s teased by his unusual interests, Hyunjoon gets picked on by his unusual aesthetic. He paints his nails black, wears fancy earrings and some makeup, has piercings, always has a heavy black coat on regardless of the weather and has an edgy fashion style. Eric likes it, thinks Hyunjoon is a stunner and people are just scared of his power, but it's not an opinion shared by their acquaintances.

"Yeah. I wanna meet your crush, too," he says slyly "See if you're falling for the right person. Remember the Juyeon hyung fiasco?"

"Don't," Eric replies, feeling some type of way at the idea of Hyunjoon and Sunwoo meeting. He has yet to figure out which type of way that is.

  
  


Turns out, it’s not a good type of way.

It’s a Saturday, which means the park has more people than usual because the students don’t have class to keep them busy. Sunwoo had said he had training until 4pm and Hyunjoon had his hair appointment booked for 3pm sharp, so Eric ran to the park right after lunch to soothe his nerves. He gets more compliments than he expected, but it’s still mostly teasing, especially from the younger kids. He filters them out, focuses on what his friends tell him all the time, on their reassurances and objective takes: he looks good, people his age are assholes and whatever Kevin says when he goes on and on about toxic masculinity.

Surprisingly, Sunwoo is the one who shows up first, looking more than a little exhausted on his worn out sweatpants. Eric waves at him, unable to contain his excitement.

It’s a bit like a movie scene, when Sunwoo spots him — his face blooms into one of his triangular smiles that are bright and sunny like his name. He walks up to him and his eyes are shining, too. "You're something else."

"What's that supposed to mean," Eric pouts, even though he knows it's not an insult. He knows insults.

Sunwoo shakes his head. “I didn’t think you’d actually go through with it. I’m glad you did.”

“I’m glad I did too,” Eric beams, his mood improving tenfold. It’s always like that when they’re together, comfortable and giddy and nice “It wasn’t easy, though. People at school are gonna be a pain. But I made a bet with a friend, said I’d only dye my hair if he did, and it gave me courage. If anything, we’ll look ridiculous together.”

“You don’t look ridiculous,” Sunwoo says, defensive, cute “What color is his hair now?”

“Dumbass didn’t wanna tell me,” Eric huffs, exasperated “He wanted to keep the element of surprise or whatever.”

Sunwoo chuckles. “I hope it looks okay.”

Then, because Eric can’t stand silence, he starts talking. He’s a little self-conscious about it since he tends to go overboard and show people too much interest, come off as too eager, too obvious. Sunwoo indulges him, though, and talks about how his day went. How hard it is to balance his idol training with his school assignments. He says his relationship with the other trainees is beginning to not be so stilted and unfamiliar, and in turn Eric tells him about his friends, about Chanhee and his skills with hair bleaching.

Sunwoo listens intently until his gaze suddenly shifts, his eyes wide and out of focus. “Oh my God.”

“What,” Eric turns to see what’s going on.

What he sees, and that makes his heart stop dead on his chest, is Hyunjoon. 

His hair is grey, almost silver under the sunset, and he’s towering over a kid who’s probably making fun of him. He’s pressing his lips together, holding back laughter and looking down at this little thirteen year old in a very condescending manner. He’s wearing a sleeveless black shirt, probably to not get his other clothes stained with hair dye, and dark jeans. 

Eric feels his mouth go a little dry. “Uh, that’s the friend I told you about.”

Sunwoo doesn’t even spare him a glance, squinting at Hyunjoon and the boy instead. “I think we should go there. I’m going there.”

“Ow, fuck, wait for me,” Eric almost trips over his feet as he follows Sunwoo, frantic. His cheeks are burning for no reason and he feels so confused.

The kid spots them first, the look on his face going from mocking to startled in a second. Eric knows he lives nearby, knows a couple of his equally mean friends, but he doesn’t remember his name. It’s easier to shrug off taunts from someone who’s so much younger than you, who simply parrots what his older friends do. Thankfully, none of the other guys are here, and Hyunjoon’s confidence is unwavering.

“Hey, cousin,” Sunwoo puts a hand on the kid’s shoulder and fixes him with an almost menacing glare “Why do I always find you in situations like this? You’re all alone too. I think your mom would be sad to know the shit you’re getting up to when she’s not around.”

The boy crosses his arms, his pupils shaking slightly. “You wouldn’t be this much of a snitch.”

“Oh, yeah? Wanna bet?” Sunwoo scoffs “Go home before I show you how much of a snitch I can be. And stop bothering people you don't know, for fuck's sake."

The boy, Sunwoo’s cousin, mumbles something under his breath before walking away.

Hyunjoon lets out a low whistle. 

“Um, right, okay, introductions,” Eric says, in an attempted ice breaker “Sunwoo, that’s Hyunjoonie, my best friend. Hyunjoon, that’s Sunwoo, my future idol friend.”

They exchange greetings politely, Sunwoo looking a bit dazed. He does look tired, he had mentioned his dance practice was particularly grueling today, so he’s probably sleepy. “Sorry for that,” he says, burying his hands inside his pockets “My relatives are kinda awful.”

“It’s okay, we’ve all been there,” Hyunjoon smiles, fixes Sunwoo with a stare so thorough it borders on uncomfortable “You’re a trainee?”

Sunwoo nods. Eric feels a nervous energy surrounding them — maybe that’s his own nervous energy. He doesn’t know why he feels so on edge, like the most important thing in the world right now is for those two to get along.

“Cool,” Hyunjoon says, then turns to Eric with a flourish “What do you think? Do I look ridiculous?”

“No,” Eric thinks of earlier today and grins “Not ridiculous.”

  
  
  


It’s almost 10pm when Eric’s phone vibrates on his lap with a text from his mother. It reads _what are you still doing outside?_ in capslock, followed by _you have class tomorrow_ and a bunch of angry emojis. 

He is, of course, at the park. Sunwoo is with him and, unsurprisingly, so is Hyunjoon.

It’s been three months and a half since that fateful encounter between the three of them. Eric hadn’t expected it to go beyond that occasion, but they actually hit it off well. They have a set dynamic now, with Eric and Sunwoo going on about a variety of subjects and Hyunjoon staring at them, his head on Sunwoo’s lap or on Eric’s shoulders. When he does say something, they listen to him and try to urge him into the conversation. Eric knows he tends to get lost inside his own mind sometimes, and Sunwoo just likes listening to him.

On this particular night, though, it’s very silent, comfortable. Sunwoo doesn’t feel quite well, as he twisted his ankle and got a good scolding for it from his dance teacher during practice at his company. Hyunjoon ordered fried chicken, Eric wanted to buy beer but Sunwoo kindly reminded him it’s still Tuesday, and they can’t afford to be hungover in the middle of the week. Truth being told, Eric has never really gotten drunk and if he could choose, he’d like the first time to be with them. The more he thinks about it, the more first times he wishes they would have together, too, but that’s a too dangerous train of thought.

Sunwoo has proven himself to be embarrassingly dreamy — he’s beyond kind, beyond smart, funny, interesting, endearing, hardworking. He forces himself to say pretty things because he needs them to hear it, even if he gets flustered afterwards. Whatever Eric feels for him is threatening to go beyond the regular, shallow crush territory and go deeper. Which is terrifying.

Hyunjoon, on the other hand, is the same. He’s familiar, trustworthy. He’s still tough, still beautiful, still unable to deal with anger or fear without running away. He teases Sunwoo a lot, flirts to get a reaction, leans into him to make him freak out. Hyunjoon doesn’t exactly reveal new sides of himself, even though he does, a little bit; instead, it’s Eric who makes small realizations about the warmth that always lives within him when they’re together. About how maybe, just maybe, he’s been diving head first into these fleeting crushes to forget what’s right under his nose.

“Soy sauce,” Hyunjoon points out, throwing some napkins at him “It’s all over your face, actually. Clean it up.”

Eric fumbles to catch them, wipes the sauce off his face with a pout. “You’re so not romantic.”

“Aw, poor baby,” Hyunjoon mirrors his pout, except it’s laced in a mocking tone that’s barely malicious “Next time I’ll just kiss it off of you.”

Sunwoo laughs one of his muted giggles, the ones that reach his eyes and make him look so warm.

For the safety of his thoughts and his heart, Eric decides to text his mom back, says he’s going home already. When they ask to take him home, as per usual, he brushes them off, says his mom sounds mad and they’ll feel awkward with her glaring at them.

From his window, he can see Sunwoo and Hyunjoon sitting together at the park and as creepy as it may sound, he usually watches them, laughs when they laugh, sees as their presences grow familiar with each other. Familiar enough that their silences are comfortable, and demonstrations of affection come easy under the moonlight.

Tonight, he closes the blinds and sleeps.

  
  


Eric decides he has to tell someone. 

Hyunjoon is in most cases the person he reaches out to whenever he’s facing a dilemma, but talking to him is obviously out of question. Eric, then, tries to think outside of the box: who is a friend of his that would understand what he’s going through? Someone who knows him well, who wouldn’t judge him? Someone who’s kind, open-minded, smart? Who doesn’t care about what society says is an appropriate relationship and what isn’t?

He knows what to do.

At the weekend, he invites Kevin and Chanhee for lunch at his favorite diner. It’s always bustling with life, the food is delightfully greasy, the staff love doting on Eric for some reason and there’s more than one vegetarian option. 

He tells them everything, between french fries and nervous sips of orange juice. He’s scared because it’s such an absurd situation — in a matter of months, he’s managed to figure out he’s been pinning for his best friend, fall in love with the person who was supposed to be his unattainable emotional support crush and make them become friends. He’s never been through anything of the sort before, hasn’t heard of anyone in a similar situation either, and it’s all very terrifying.

Specially with Chanhee smirking at him like that, as soon as he’s finished telling his tragic tale.

“What?” he croaks out, already feeling tired.

Chanhee smiles wider. “Nothing. I just think you’re dumb.”

“Don’t be mean,” Kevin scolds him, taking a bite of his veggie sandwich.

“I’m not being mean! It’s just…” Chanhee trails off, exasperated, then turns to Eric “You’ve known Sunwoo and Hyunjoon for how long?”

Eric scratches the back of his head, not sure where the older boy is trying to get at. “Um, Sunwoo moved here last year. Hyunjoon and I have been friends since middle school but we’ve known each other for longer. Been classmates since forever. Why?”

Chanhee runs his hands through his hair, stares at Kevin. “ _Middle school_.”

“I know,” Kevin says, pats his boyfriend’s back consolingly.

Eric is confused, to say the least, and a little defensive. “What about it?”

“You took a long time to get in touch with your feelings, is all. I can see why you would do that, it’s easy to fall into patterns when you know someone for so long, but...” Kevin explains, softly, looks like he wants to elaborate but doesn’t quite know how to do so “Do you like them the same amount?”

Eric hadn’t even thought of that to be a defining factor. It feels weird, odd to even try and measure what he feels for both of them. He likes them for entirely different reasons and in entirely different ways. He likes Sunwoo’s kindness and Hyunjoon’s strength, he likes Sunwoo’s honesty and Hyunjoon’s comfort. He likes the way he can tell Hyunjoon everything and he likes the way he can rely on Sunwoo to take care of him and protect him. He likes the way Sunwoo’s all bark and no bite, likes the way Hyunjoon’s expression softens for him. 

When Sunwoo had moved to their neighborhood, Eric’s mom wanted to give them a warm welcome, so they made a batch of brownies and ate it together. Eric played with Sunwoo’s baby sister and they listened to Eric’s playlist together and Sunwoo never made fun of his tastes, no matter how out of pocket they could be. On that same night, Eric had realized he could, potentially, fall for him.

Casually, though. He had expected things to be casual, like they had been with his past crushes. Everyone brings up Juyeon a lot because he was the most pronounced one — he was too good, too gentle and pure to lead Eric on, so his lack of interest was crystal clear. His rejections hadn’t hurt much because Eric had started liking him knowing it would be impossible for his infatuation to get off the ground, anyways. He always gets a little wounded when he realizes he’s been giving attention to people who don’t reciprocate it, but it fades easy enough. It becomes a pattern in which he develops crushes on people who are nice to him out of basic decency, they don’t feel the same, he cries on Hyunjoon’s lap and moves on.

And here’s the thing: it was so big, so undescribably huge of Eric to realize those patterns were only to divert his attention from his real feelings. Because he can live well without talking to Park Jihoon from group therapy, but he doesn’t think he’d be fine if he and Hyunjoon grew distant. No, scratch that: he’d be devastated, because Hyunjoon’s presence is soothing in itself. He’d feel lost, restless in a hauntingly permanent way, and that sounds worse than casual heartbreak. The effortless familiarity between them helped keep his dangerous affections buried and things were okay. They were Youngjae and Hyunjoon, polar opposites and close friends who relied on each other. Satisfying, reliable and safe.

That’s until Eric’s crush of the month backfires, and makes every single emotion on his chest bloom unprompted.

“I think I do,” is what Eric answers, dipping one of his fries on ketchup “It’s hard to compare. I’ve known Hyunjoonie for longer, it’s easier to imagine us growing old together and all that shit, you know, objectively. But I hate even the idea of having to choose.”

Chanhee and Kevin share a meaningful look, though its exact meaning gets lost in Eric. 

“Do you feel jealous when they’re together?” Kevin asks, careful.

Eric shakes his head right away, which is strange. He is prone to jealousy, specially with his friends, scared of them leaving for someone less annoying, more put together. However, instead of that, he likes to be the one to witness Sunwoo and Hyunjoon growing closer. Likes seeing their clumsy attempts at flirting and likes the exasperated glance they share when Eric says something particularly aggravating. Their closeness doesn’t equal him being excluded, so it warms his heart to see them getting along.

Eric tells that to Kevin and Chanhee, pauses to reach for the fries. “When I have to go home too early, I sit there and watch them interact, bounce off each other. I don’t know why I do it but it makes me feel good, feel accomplished. Is that weird?”

“Of course not,” Chanhee says, a beat too fast “I mean, I do think you’re stupid, don’t get me wrong, but not for falling for two people at the same time. Love can be generous.”

Eric raises his eyebrows, almost chokes on orange juice. He didn’t expect a statement like that, so earnest and cheesy, to be said by Choi Chanhee of all people. 

“Chanhee had an experience with polyamory once,” Kevin explains, putting his hand over Chanhee’s. There’s a lot of unspoken tenderness between them now in comparison to when they started dating and it makes Eric yearn for such intimacy, too.

Chanhee grimaces. “It didn’t end well because I had a lot of insecurities back then, and it made things hard for me. I couldn’t trust my boyfriends the way I should, you know, for things to work out, because I found myself unlovable. We started not being the best people for each other and decided to part ways romantically, but we’re still in touch.”

“Boyfriends…” Eric tries to taste it on his tongue, see if it sounds more concrete than it feels. It doesn’t. “I don’t even know if they like me that way. I don’t wanna ruin what we already have.”

Kevin and Chanhee share a second meaningful look, except this one seems like a silent argument.

Chanhee starts, because of course he does. “I don’t know about Sunwoo, but Hyunjoon…”

“Hyunjoon is your long time friend and wouldn’t just abandon you because you have a crush on him,” Kevin cuts in, ignoring Chanhee’s frown at being interrupted “Plus, that’s the way life is. People come and go, and they teach us lessons. You can avoid putting yourself in troublesome situations but you can’t control who you will start liking and why. If you get rejected, it’s not about you, it’s about them. It won’t be the end of the world.”

“I don’t think you will, though,” Chanhee supplies, adamant “Who in their right mind wouldn’t like you?”

“I have a pretty big list to answer that question,” Eric laughs nervously “It’s scary, all of this.”

Kevin nods. “Of course. We’re not saying you have to do whatever we say, it’s just better for everyone involved if you just tell them how you feel. The faster you get an answer, the quicker you’ll get over it if it’s a negative one.”

Eric doesn’t have an answer to that. This is so wildly different from his previous experiences, and he’s sure Kevin is right because he always is, but the thought of walking up to his mother holding hands with his two boyfriends for Easter lunch sounds so farfetched he can’t even fathom it.

And he doesn’t even know if his affections are returned! 

“I’m gonna try,” Eric decides, finally. That’s the biggest promise he can make at the moment, both to the couple in front of him and to himself.

  
  
  


Realizing you like someone, he finds out, is completely annoying.

Sunwoo makes Eric feel clumsy, in every sense of the word. Sunwoo isn’t much more experienced than any other high school kid his age, yet he has an air of confidence about him that makes him sound like he knows things. He’s amazing with words, does killer impersonations, makes Eric laugh harder than anybody else. And there’s something warm about his gaze, when he’s sitting on one of the benches watching Eric do his skateboard tricks, that gets his heart racing, makes his knees buckle.

And this isn’t much different than having a casual crush on him — except it’s deeper, stronger, harder to deal with. Eric looks out of the window, greets a sleepy Sunwoo who groans something barely intelligible back, and thinks I like this boy so much it hurts. 

Don’t even get him started on Hyunjoon. 

Hyunjoon, who has been there for Eric ever since he can remember. Hyunjoon, who is brave and beautiful and strong and witty. Hyunjoon, his home, who knows his sister and his mother and most of his friends. If Sunwoo hadn’t noticed Eric acting weird and distant, Hyunjoon surely would. Hyunjoon surely had. And he wouldn’t hesitate to call Eric out on his bullshit, because their relationship is based on trust and honesty and comfort. 

There had been suspicious silence on Hyunjoon’s side, but Eric had the feeling it was a matter of time before shit hit the fan and his entire act collapsed.

It didn’t have to be so close to their midterms, though.

He went to Hyunjoon’s house since his own was too noisy for him to get any studying done. Needless to say, he doesn’t study regardless — his algebra textbook long forgotten as he watches a BTS concert DVD with Hyunjoon in his living room. Maybe how Eric stays on the other side of the couch is too much of a giveaway, or maybe his sharp intake of breath when their hands brush together as they reach for popcorn is too loud. He’s never been one for silences, and when he consciously likes someone his reactions are extra obnoxious.

What comes out of Hyunjoon’s mouth makes him freeze, though. “I need to tell you something.”

“Huh?” Eric says, eloquently “What?”

"Remember that day we were at the park with Sunwoo? When you went home early?" Hyunjoon asks, fidgeting with the sleeves of his hoodie. He reaches for the remote, pauses in a frame of Jungkook grinning as he got off the stage.

Not for the first time in his life, Eric wished he was Jungkook. "Yeah," he croaks out, existential dread starting to settle on his chest.

"We kissed," Hyunjoon breathes out, and the whole world stops "I'm really sorry, I didn't really see it coming, and I'll back off if you want me to. But I swear it wasn't planned, wasn't on purpose. It just happened."

Eric doesn't know what to say, which is extremely rare. He had felt something simmering underneath the surface with the two of them, and he's not exactly jealous, but he's not perfectly content with the arrangement either. He doesn't know what to say, or do, and his hand is still frozen on the popcorn bowl, his eyes focused on nothing.

"I'm sorry," Hyunjoon repeats himself. He does sound sorry, and sad, for whatever reason.

Eric wants to put him out of his misery. "Was it a physical thing, or do you like him?"

"What's the difference? I shouldn't have done it either way," Hyunjoon mumbles, guilty. He knows the fleeting nature of Eric's crushes, as far as he knows Sunwoo is one of them, yet Hyunjoon is so painfully _loyal_ he's not forgiving himself for this anytime soon.

Eric sighs. He likes him so much. "There's a world of difference, Hyunjoonie."

"I don't know," Hyunjoon shrugs "I can't tell if I really like him but I wouldn't have put our friendship on the line because I have the hots for some guy. I wouldn't."

"I know you wouldn't," Eric concedes, softly "You just caught me off guard. I don't know where to go from here. And don't apologize."

Hyunjoon tilts his head to the side, confused. "You're not mad at me?"

Eric examines his emotions again. He doesn't know what this means for him, this new development, the two people he was crushing on to be crushing on each other. He wishes he could stop time and call Chanhee, get a polyamory crash course, or call Kevin, or call anyone to tell him what the fuck is he supposed to do now. He's lost, scared, feeling a little bit left out.

But he's not angry. So he shakes his head. 

"Why?" Hyunjoon asks, and really, that's the million dollar question. _Why_?

Except Eric knows why. He doesn't know if the answer is appropriate for this moment, doesn't know if sharing it won't ruin his life forever, doesn't know whether he should talk about it at all. However, he does know why.

From the corner of his eye, he looks at his phone, sees it's still 9pm. Not an ideal time to go back home; his mother would sure nag him even though his house isn't too far away, because his street tends to get dark and empty after eight. He had planned on sleeping over, yet if things went too wrong he still had time to run home and cry on his teddy bears.

So.

"I'm gonna be honest, yeah?" Eric says, fidgeting "We're best friends and if I can't be honest with you I'm fucked and maybe you'll help me understand this whole thing. Or not. Anyways. I had an epiphany, I think. Figured out some things about myself."

Hyunjoon raises his eyebrows. "Are you coming out to me, Youngjae? I already know you like men. I got the hint after your third boy crush."

He's trying to lighten the atmosphere, Eric realizes, is thankful. He can't follow through on the effort, though, because what he's carrying inside him seems heavy in every sense of the word. 

"I like Sunwoo, yeah," Eric admits, it flows easily out of his tongue, this was something they were both aware of to an extent "But I like you too."

Hyunjoon inhales deeply. When he speaks, he sounds shaky. "Don't joke about this."

"I'm not joking, why would I joke?" Eric has never been so serious in his entire life, he feels like.

" _Because_!" Hyunjoon says, exasperated "You kept talking to me about your crushes! You asked me for love advice! You cried on my shoulder when those crushes went wrong! You call me your best friend! You never brought anything up!"

"Hence the epiphany," Eric deadpans, and he's not so oblivious that he doesn't know what this reaction means "Listen, if you don't like me you just have to s-"

He's interrupted by Hyunjoon slamming his shoulders against the couch, hovering on top of him like a pretty, angry ghost. "You're fucking impossible."

Eric doesn't have time to defend himself because Hyunjoon is on him, kissing him, and he has officially stopped having all sorts of thoughts.

It doesn't last long, but it's also all Eric will be able to think about for the next week. He reaches to kiss Hyunjoon again, because _what the fuck_ , but he gets stopped with a hand to his chest. "Hold up. You need to tell me where the fuck did this come from."

"I can't think," Eric whispers, his voice mellow and dazed.

Hyunjoon scoffs. "You're being ridiculous."

Eric nods, feeling his cheeks heat up. "Yes. I am. I'm so goofy. Kiss me again?"

"I'm not doing as much as touch you ever again if you don't start talking," Hyunjoon threatens, and he doesn't take those lightly.

 _No bark, all bite_ , Eric thinks, stupidly. "There's not much to say. We were at the park and I thought I liked you, the two of you, in a way I never liked anyone before. I went home because I had to think, I even asked Chanhee and Kevin for advice. I'm very serious about this."

“You are, aren’t you?” Hyunjoon sighs, rests his face on his hands "I'm not great at sharing.”

Eric had thought of that. Hyunjoon is prone to jealousy, likes having undivided attention from everyone he holds dear, from his friends to his significant others. If there was someone who'd object to the idea of a polyamorous relationship, it was him. Sunwoo can be possessive, but it's more to the overprotective, defensive sense of the word. He'd keep a close eye on them in the vain hope he could shelter them from all the evil in the world. He would be less resistant, Eric guesses.

Then it clicks.

"You like him too, though," Eric is confident on his delivery, at first, then he remembers Hyunjoon didn't quite confirm he liked him, only shoved him against the nearest solid surface, gave him a violently brief kiss and threatened him into talking about his feelings "I mean. I'm assuming you're into me?"

Hyunjoon makes a face, fondness swimming inside his eyes. "You're awfully dense. How do you live like this?"

Eric's too flustered to be on the receiving end of that stare, so he stumbles over his words, his face growing even redder. "How was I supposed to know!"

Hyunjoon laughs, reaches to cup Eric's face, caressing his warm cheeks with his thumbs. Eric closes his eyes and Hyunjoon kisses him, this time slow and tender, tasting him thoroughly. Eric imagined he'd be more enthusiastic about this, but he's melting, arms wrapped around Hyunjoon, giddy and breathless. Eric feels calm the way God must've been calm, knowing every single creature in the world is in its exact place, as Hyunjoon kisses him deeper, tugs at his hair as if asking for permission. Eric gives it to him, easy, allows his breath to be stolen, taken.

"You'll make me choose?" Eric asks when they part, can't help sounding torn. He doesn't _want_ to pick, because he wants more of this so badly, yet he wants more of Sunwoo too. It's really complicated.

Hyunjoon holds Eric's hands distractedly, draws circles on his palm. "It took so long to have you here, is the thing."

"I've always been here," Eric says, broken. He wishes he had figured this all out sooner.

"Not like this," Hyunjoon retorts, his tone gentle "Because you're right. I do have feelings for Sunwoo, I guess. I like being with him, and I really liked kissing him, guilt aside."

Eric inhales shakily. "I hear a _but_."

"I need to think about it," Hyunjoon confesses, which is fair, better than nothing "I've seen you fall in and out of love with a thousand people before you could ever see me, and now that you do, I'm not the only one."

"You don't have to be the only one to be special to me. Love can be generous," Eric says, and he doesn't know where those words are coming from before they're flowing out of him unprompted "I've always seen you, Hyunjoonie. I just didn't know what it meant."

To Eric's complete shock, Hyunjoon’s eyes grow watery after hearing that. It’s shocking because he never cries, even when he’s supposed to, even when he’s expected to.

"Do not say _anything_ ," Hyunjoon snarls at him, dabbing at the corners of his eyes with his fingers "I'm overwhelmed."

Eric makes a gesture of locking his mouth shut and throwing away the key. 

Hyunjoon gives him a peck on the lips as a response. Or just because, really — the pointless brand of affection you show when you like someone too much and you don’t quite know how to express it. “I’ll think about it, seriously.”

They try to finish watching the BTS tour while cuddling. It’s comfortable, because Hyunjoon is tall where Eric is short, and they fit against eachother like puzzle pieces. They’re made of two entirely different color palettes, it seems, with Eric taking over the hot, bouncy colors while Hyunjoon is all royal blues and sharp purples, and the picture they paint together is messy and clashing and perfect. 

The butterflies inside Eric's stomach flutter, and he thinks he could get used to this.

  
  


Eric is restless.

This isn’t news, not at all, because he’s an hyperactive teenager. He’s often agitated, antsy, fretting over something, talking about something, thinking about something. His body only ever stops when he’s asleep, and even then he tosses and turns for a long while. His mother jokes he’ll have to sleep in a separate bed if he ever marries, lest his wife asks for a divorce right after their honeymoon. 

Still. He wakes up in Hyunjoon's bedroom, wondering if maybe it was just a dream, until he notices Hyunjoon's arms wrapped around his waist because they decided to sleep together and he places a kiss on Eric's forehead before he slips out of bed to cook breakfast, and then it dawns on him. He did it, he confessed, and didn't ruin his closest, most valuable friendship in the process.

There's a shift to their friendship that's mostly pleasant - after his midterms, they skip out of class to make out, something Eric had never done despite his multiple romantic experiences in the past. They lock themselves inside one of the old lab rooms and he sits on Hyunjoon's lap and they kiss until their lips are red and bitten and Eric's entire body feels like it's made of electricity. They're still them, with Hyunjoon making fun of Eric openly when he gets too flustered or too excited, yet there's a release from the tension they were keeping inside their hearts.

It's not a complete release, though, and that's what makes him restless. Because as soon as he's alone with his thoughts, all he can think about is _Sunwoo_.

Eric misses him. Misses his laugh, his jokes, the sound of his voice, his kindness. Misses his presence, earnest and soothing and understanding. 

He wasn't going to reach out, but it's been almost a week and Hyunjoon hadn't said anything and they're not dating and Eric never promised he'd wait for him and he doesn't wanna tell Sunwoo anything, he just wants to talk to him. To _see_ him.

So it's Friday night and Eric sends a text and sneaks out of his house after his mother had one too many glasses of wine and waits expectantly, skateboard on his feet. He walks around with it, doesn't do any complicated tricks, just moves for the sake of moving.

Sunwoo appears soon enough, wearing a black shirt and sweatpants and his hair dyed dark brown instead of the previous bright red. His smile doesn't reach his eyes, but he's beautiful regardless. "Hey."

"Hey," Eric answers, breathless, stumbles over his skateboard. 

Sunwoo catches him, and his smile widens, turns triangular and cute with laughter about to spill from it. "It was right in front of you, dude."

"I'm distracted," Eric mumbles, ears hot from embarrassment.

Sunwoo chuckles, a glint of mischievousness in his eyes. "What's distracting you?"

"Did you come here just to bully me?!" Eric whines.

"I don't know why I came here," Sunwoo levels him with a questioning stare "You called me, remember?"

"I wanted to see you," Eric says. It might not be the complete truth, though, because now that they're here, he wants to make questions. Does Sunwoo know Eric likes him? Does Sunwoo like him back? What's it like between him and Hyunjoon now? Are they talking frequently? Are they awkward? If they are, is it Eric's fault?

Something shifts in Sunwoo's expression, unaware of Eric's inner turmoil, turns soft and open. "Here I am."

"Actually," Eric clears his throat, nervous "Hyunjoon told me. About what happened."

"Oh," Sunwoo exclaims. He sits on the ramp, hugs his knees, and Eric sits by his side, tries to keep his facial expression friendly. 

"How did it, um… Happen?" 

Sunwoo smirks, amused. "You're terrible at poaching information out of people. You would be a bad spy."

Eric brings his hands to his chest as if wounded, pretending to be deeply offended, a desperate attempt to keep things lighthearted despite his growing curiosity. "Sunwoo, you're being so mean today! Haven't you missed me?"

"Of course I did," Sunwoo says, sweetly, and now Eric knows what emotion had been attached to his gaze this whole time. It wasn't amusement or mischief - it was affection, pure and simple "I missed you so much."

And he's so honest it hurts. Eric's chest feels constricted, his throat closed, and his voice fails him. His heartbeats are erratic, wild and hammering, with the way Sunwoo looks at him, the way Sunwoo moves closer, the way Sunwoo's hand moves up to the back of Eric's neck. 

He should back off. This can't be right, wasn't what was supposed to happen.

Sunwoo is so good-looking. His touch is hot yet the tip of his nose feels cold and they're breathing the same air and his lips are parted and the universe trembles with how much Eric wants him. He should back off, but that's the least thing he wants, so he stays vibrant and expectant as Sunwoo fully closes the distance between them.

If kissing Hyunjoon was like being washed away by the ocean, kissing Sunwoo was like being consumed by fire. There's an urgency to it, a heated sense of desperation as Sunwoo licks and bites, fiery and possessive. Eric loves the taste of him, is drunk on it, drunk on his sweetness and on his passion. Until this moment, he hadn't realized the extent of his true feelings for Sunwoo, but now it's everywhere, burning under his skin.

Eric doesn't want to give up on him. 

Sunwoo lets go of his lips to press kisses down his jaw, on his neck. "I really did miss you."

Eric squirms, warm all over. "Sunwoo…"

"Yeah?" Sunwoo breathes out.

"Did you know I liked you?" Eric throws it out there because, really, his life is a mess already. He might as well throw one more confession into the mix.

Sunwoo looks at him, dazed, surprise painted all over his face. "Not really? Hyunjoon let it slip when we kissed, said it shouldn't happen again because you liked me but I shouldn't tell you he said that."

Eric raises his eyebrows. "So you did know."

"I thought he was lying," Sunwoo admits, sheepish "I thought you liked _him_ instead, and he was trying to save face and not say to my face he wasn't interested."

"I do like him," Eric points out "But not _instead_."

It dawns on Sunwoo. "Have you told him?"

"Yeah. He feels the same, but he said he'd have to think if _this_ ," Eric gestures to the space between the two of them "is going to work. I was gonna wait but it's been a while and I really wanted to see you..." he adds the last part shyly. It's not like him to be embarrassed of his own feelings but this is another level of emotional vulnerability he's not used to. Plus, there's an added layer of shame due to how new this entire situation is, and he doesn't know how Sunwoo would react to it.

Thankfully, Sunwoo meets him halfway, even more sappy as he brings one hand to Eric's cheek and smiles. "I like you a lot. I thought it went without saying, but I wanted to say it anyway. I really, really like you."

"I really like you too," Eric mutters, unfocused, his heart hammering against his ribcage "That's so surreal. What am I gonna do now?"

Sunwoo hums in thought. "Well, what do you want to do?"

"It's not just about me," Eric says, a little frustrated "It's about you, and it's about him."

Sunwoo shrugs. "You already know how I feel about you. And I didn't kiss him for no reason."

"You initiated _that_ too?" Eric giggles "What a whore!"

“Fuck off,” Sunwoo snarls but his cheeks color, his skin glowing prettily under the moonlight. "We have a date tomorrow."

Eric's chest tightens, hopeful and expectant. "Do you?"

"He didn't call it a _date_ ," Sunwoo clarifies, fiddling with the strings on Eric's hoodie "He said he needed to talk to me, I said we could do it over lunch and he picked the place."

It's adorable to see him so flustered, considering he almost swallowed Eric alive less than five minutes ago. Hyunjoon has that effect on people.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Sunwoo squints at him.

Eric grins even wider, brighter, leans forward and kisses him. "You're cute."

"I'm not cute," Sunwoo grumbles, arms crossed, the very picture of teenage embarrassment "I'm fearing for my life. What if he dumps me?"

"He won't _dump_ you," Eric says, even though he's not sure himself. Even though Hyunjoon wouldn't have taken up on the lunch date suggestion if he meant to give Sunwoo the boot, he's also not the type to say important things over text.

Sunwoo picks up on his lack of certainty and groans. "You can't know that!"

"Dude, he kissed you," Eric argues, smiling.

" _I_ kissed _him_."

"Semantics."

Sunwoo pouts. "Can't you give me some tips? So he'll like me too."

 _He likes you well enough already_ , Eric wants to say, but Hyunjoon would kill him, both for betraying his trust and for ruining his unattainable, cool boy image. "Don't order his food for him, he'll think you wanna boss him around," Eric passes on useful information instead, because he's a good friend "Plus, he's a really picky eater."

Sunwoo nods solemnly "Noted. Anything else?"

“He really likes compliments,” Eric rests his head on Sunwoo’s shoulders. The adrenaline from the overwhelming amount of emotions he went through in the last half hour is catching up to him, making him sleepy “Don’t go overboard, but don’t hesitate to tell him he’s pretty or whatever. For the most part, just be yourself.”

Sunwoo frowns, worry written all over his face. “What if being myself isn’t enough?”

Dumbass. Eric briefly wonders if that’s how Chanhee and Kevin felt while talking to him at the diner. He kisses Sunwoo again, content. “It will be.”

  
  


**chocoball** : if i die will you come to my funeral

Eric rolls his eyes as the notification pops up on his phone. A couple distant relatives are coming to his house for lunch, so he’s helping his mother make her famous stir-fried noodles, except there comes a point where she gets tired of giving him instructions and decides to do everything herself, shooing him to the living room. He should act as host if his relatives arrive earlier than usual since his sister is still showering, but otherwise he’s free, sprawled across the couch, watching wildlife documentaries.

His day had been so frantic so far he didn’t realize today was The Date.

**chocoball** : ERIC

**ace_sohn** : i’m here !!! 

**chocoball** : what do you think i should wear

 **chocoball** : THIS IS SO STRESSFUL

Eric giggles like a school girl — which, to be fair, he kind of is. In all forms but physical.

**ace_sohn** : sunwoo we’ve been hanging out for months

 **ace_sohn** : like… he won’t judge ur outfit any more than he already does

**chocoball** : BUT I WANT HIM TO BE MINDBLOWN 

**chocoball** : what kinda outfit says so hot i’d become a throuple with him

Eric laughs again, a giddy feeling bubbling inside him. Sunwoo is so lovely, with the way he took his desires in stride, not only didn’t think Eric was weird but shared the same longing to become something more, the three of them.

**ace_sohn** : idk babe

 **ace_sohn** : oh

 **ace_sohn** : go naked

**chocoball** : DON’T MOCK ME I’M PANICKING

**ace_sohn** : RELAXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **ace_sohn** : wanna know what’s he gonna wear?

**chocoball** : ...yeah. i think i’ll feel even worse but yeah

**ace_sohn** : one sec!

Eric switches chats, opens Hyunjoon's conversation. He knows Eric and Sunwoo met yesterday, but Eric hadn't had the chance to tell him about all that happened the night before. He won't tell Hyunjoon now, either, right before his date with Sunwoo. That would be risky.

So, when Eric messages him, he's a little guilty.

**ace_sohn** : good afternoon hyunjoonieeeee

**catboy** : hi shortie

 **catboy** : what's up?

**ace_sohn** : what are you wearing for today?

**catboy** : i haven't figured it out actually 

**catboy** : wait. do you know what i'm doing today?

**ace_sohn** : sunwoo told me!!

 **ace_sohn** : he's losing his mind rn

**catboy** : cute

 **catboy** : tell him i'm wearing this and he can match me

The picture Hyunjoon sends is one of a skintight black leather catsuit with cutouts on the back and around the waist. It’s an obnoxious bluff and Eric loves him so much, too much to keep him in the dark about anything.

**ace_sohn** : i need to tell you something

 **ace_sohn** : terrible timing but IT’S A REALLY RECENT DEVELOPMENT

 **ace_sohn** : and it’s a big one

**catboy** : you guys kissed yesterday and he knows about everything and he’s ok with it

Eric’s face falls. 

**ace_sohn** : YOU KNEW!!!!!!

**catboy** : he told me lmao i imagined you wouldn’t until last minute

**ace_sohn** : my family’s coming over

 **ace_sohn** : ma asked me to help w stuff

 **ace_sohn** : and i came home rly late

**catboy** : it’s fine buttercup

 **catboy** : you’re single, and you did tell me you liked him

 **catboy** : i didn’t ask you to choose 

**ace_sohn** : i should’ve waited though :((( sorry

 **ace_sohn** : or talked to you about it :(((

**catboy** : youngjae. i’m not mad. you said you were gonna see him and i said ok

 **catboy** : kinda predicted this would happen

 **catboy** : sunwoo & i talked yesterday

Unprompted, Sunwoo sends him another text, a sequence of question marks. Eric snorts and swipes the notification to the side. 

**ace_sohn** : and?

**catboy** : i’m going out with him today, aren’t i

 **catboy** : no promises made

 **catboy** : but i’m willing to give this a shot

**ace_sohn** : would it sound fake if i said i love you rn

**catboy** : go for it

**ace_sohn** : I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

 **ace_sohn** : no pressure tho!!! it’s up to you

**catboy** : i love you too dumbass

 **catboy** : tell sunwoo i’ll go casual today

The doorbell rings, because of course it does, and Eric scrambles to pick it up, thinking it must be his cousin or his grandma, who always arrives too early. Eric’s smiling so hard it’s threatening to split his face in half, his heart soaring inside his ribcage.

There’s no member of the Sohn family waiting for him outside, though. Instead, there’s big, frantic eyes staring into his soul, a backpack hanging on one shoulder. Sunwoo grimaces nervously.

“Who is it?” his mother screams from the kitchen.

Eric chuckles. “It’s Sunwoo, mom.”

“Oh, hi, Sunwoo!” she shows up in the kitchen door, sweaty, flour on her cheek, her apron tied wrong “Youngjae, why didn’t you tell me he was coming?”

“He has a lunch date,” Eric explains, not exactly lying “I’ll help him choose an outfit.”

His mother sighs exasperatedly. “That’s sweet, but your uncle will be coming any second now, and I’m not presentable at all, so if you kids could do your Project Runway thing in the living room, that’d be great.”

As if summoned by angels, his sister walks down the stairs with her hair tied in a ponytail, wearing a blue polka-dot summer dress. “I'm ready!"

Eric turns to his mom, pleading with his eyes. "She's ready."

"Alright, you can go," she says, dismissive "You better be here when I call you."

Eric takes Sunwoo's hand, brings him to his room and locks the door. They sit on the tip of his bed, Sunwoo takes off his backpack and immediately wraps his arms around Eric's neck. "Hi."

Eric grabs Sunwoo's waist and pulls him closer. "Hello. You look handsome."

And it's true. Sunwoo's wearing a silky white button-down and black pants, which is his version of dressing up and Hyunjoon's version of casual. His hair is falling over his eyes, bouncy and fluffy, and his lips are plump and pink and soft-looking. He looks perfect, so Eric kisses him, as a way to calm him down and as a general reward for being the boy of his dreams. Sunwoo melts into his touch, now slow heat instead of the blazing fire he was when they first kissed. He lets out a tiny mewl and laughs, flustered. Eric's hands sneak under his shirt to touch his waist and find him warm and smooth there. Sunwoo kisses him deeper as encouragement, sucking on his bottom lip as if they had all the time in the world.

They part, realizing they got carried away. Sunwoo smiles shyly. "You really think I look good?"

"You look perfect, babe," Eric links their fingers together, just because "Hyunjoon is gonna wear something like this, too, so it's all good."

Sunwoo's eyes sparkle. "Show me."

"No, it's a surprise," Eric lies through his teeth. If he says Hyunjoon is going casual, Sunwoo will think he's overdressed and go too casual. There's too much at stake here. "What's with the backpack?"

"I'm going to the company after that," Sunwoo says, averting his gaze to the Taemin poster Eric keeps glued to his door "I'll quit being a trainee, I think."

Eric frowns. "Why?"

"I don't think idol life is for me," Sunwoo answers, firm yet regretful "I've been there for a while, even before I moved here, and I don't seem to be going anywhere with it. And, you know, that's one of the reasons I didn't tell you I liked you sooner."

"Um," Eric blurts out, coherently "You aren't quitting because of us, are you?"

"Not specifically, no," Sunwoo replies bemusedly "It would make things harder, dating you guys as a trainee, then as an idol, and I don't think I like it enough to go through that. I love making music, and I like performing, but it's not worth the hassle. This industry sucks, Eric."

"I know," Eric says, softly "What are you gonna do now?"

"I'll become a music producer, maybe," Sunwoo throws in the possibility "I definitely wanna be doing something related to the arts, except more behind the scenes, you know. Being under the spotlight can change you."

Eric squeezes Sunwoo's hand consolingly. "Well, I'll be here to love and support you no matter what."

 _Love_. Sunwoo startles, and it's odd because Eric hadn't planned on letting that word out so soon. It was a Freudian slip.

"You mean it?" Sunwoo asks, shocked "Isn't it weird that we feel like this in such a short time? We barely know each other."

 _We_. The butterflies inside Eric's stomach beat their wings excitedly. "Weirder than having two boyfriends?"

Sunwoo chuckles, intertwines their pinky fingers. "Not really."

  
  


Being in love makes Eric do ridiculous stuff, like taking a bus to hell.

"It's not going to hell," Sunwoo says for what seems like the thousandth time, long-suffering.

He says that, but the bus is shaking so hard it feels like it’s going to either stop or break or collapse or explode anytime soon. The bus is packed full so they’re standing very close together, which would be pleasant if it wasn’t also scorching hot. Plus there’s a man to Eric’s left who smells like he’s rubbed rotten eggs against his body then took a mud bath, and a woman to Eric’s right holding a child who can’t stop fucking crying.

Eric is a positive person, he swears he is. However, if he doesn’t get off this torture chamber as soon as yesterday, he’ll commit first degree murder. 

“You’re so sheltered,” Sunwoo rolls his eyes. He seems — not at peace, because it’s impossible to feel anything even remotely close to calm in here, but — used to it, to the chaos and the movement and the noise. 

Maybe he’s right. Maybe Eric’s sheltered. He still wants out, though. He doesn’t know why he agreed on coming.

No, scratch that. He came because Sunwoo insisted, said there was a really pretty park in his hometown, with a meadow and greenery and pretty flowers and he used to have picnics there when he was younger and he wanted to share that memory with someone who’s precious to him.

And Eric, being the softhearted idiot that he is, accepted right away.

After their first date, Sunwoo and Hyunjoon started going out more, just the two of them, as Eric had predicted (and secretly hoped) they would. They’d go to the movies and amusement parks and eat in obnoxiously expensive restaurants when Hyunjoon got his allowance. They’d also go on dates the three of them, because neither Sunwoo or Hyunjoon wanted to make Eric feel lonely, and they weren’t much different than their platonic hangouts. They’d go to noraebangs on weekends and have study sessions that turned into the three of them watching Naruto in the living room and it was fun.

It was a bit of a learning curve, at first, and it still is. They feel awkward showing physical affection when it’s the three of them, don’t quite know how to navigate this ambiguous arrangement, but Eric’s optimistic, and even if this goes south completely, he’ll have amazing memories he’ll keep locked inside his heart forever.

Which seems exaggerated. Some of the thoughts he keeps having these days are ridiculous, using weighty words like _love_ and _future_ and _always_ , yet he’s not ashamed of them anymore. A bit scared, if anything.

“The next stop is us,” Sunwoo warns, pulling Eric by his wrist to get closer to the exit.

Eric lets out a relieved sigh as he moves away from Mr. Trashbag. “Thank God.”

Their stop comes, and Eric marvels at how Sunwoo can guide Eric around with one arm and hold the huge basket they prepared with the other. Sunwoo raises his eyebrows. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“You’re sexy when you multitask,” Eric says, cheesy, and Sunwoo shoves him as a response. 

It’s not a big walk from the bus stop to the park, and soon enough they’re there. It’s as beautiful as Sunwoo described, an oasis in an otherwise grey and busy city. There’s a lake full of ducks, parents sitting on the benches and chatting as their children play around, blowing bubbles, running and giggling and being pointlessly excited the way children usually are. Eric feels bad for being annoyed at the kid from earlier, hopes the little guy has a better day when he gets home. 

They walk further into the park, towards the meadow area, and he does a double take.

Hyunjoon is there.

He's lying across the picnic cloth Eric thought Sunwoo had forgotten at home, he's wearing a light blue tank top and denim shorts, he's holding a dandelion between his fingers and blowing on it, very bored and extremely beautiful, even more with the way sunlight hits his face, makes him look magical.

Eric's heart skips a beat, as it does when it sees him, also because his presence wasn't expected. 

"Ugh, finally," Hyunjoon complains, sits straight to give them space. Eric sits next to him and Sunwoo sits next to Eric, placing the basket in front of the two of them.

"Why are you here?" Eric blurts out, then realizes how that must've sound "I mean… Not that I don't want you here! It's just. I didn't know you would come? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise. Aren't you happy to see me?" Hyunjoon bats his eyelashes, acting coy.

It's a trap and Eric falls for it gracelessly. He has nothing to hide anymore. "Always."

Hyunjoon can't hold his gaze for too long, flustered with the amount of honesty he must've found there. Eric remembers his talk with Chanhee when he dyed Eric's hair pink, how flabbergasted he was at the mere possibility Hyunjoon would spare a glance at him. 

"I also wanted to tell you something," Hyunjoon reaches for the basket, scrambles through it to grab an apple "So I decided to crash your date. Hope you don't mind."

Sunwoo frowns, his body stiffens. "You didn't say that when you said you were coming."

"I've made up my mind on my way here," Hyunjoon says cryptically.

Eric doesn't have the mental strength to open the basket, take out the sweet pancakes he made with his sister, nor does he open the snacks he's bought with Sunwoo at the supermarket. Hyunjoon has never looked better than in this moment, the sun hitting his bare face as he makes fun of his two not-boyfriends and takes a bite of his apple.

He's stunning and it's distracting.

"So?" Sunwoo asks, restless "You'll throw the _I need to talk to you_ and not talk?"

"Patience, sunshine," Hyunjoon says, sweetly, puts a hand on his knee "It's not a bad thing. It's just… I don't know how you two do it."

Eric blinks. "How do we do what?"

"Feelings. Talking about them," Hyunjoon gestures vaguely to the sky, to the trees, to nothing in particular "But. I've been thinking."

Sunwoo fake gasps. Eric elbows him.

Hyunjoon glares at them. "Anyways. I've been doing a lot of self-reflection. These past months have been wild. The most insane, mindboggled, confused and overwhelmed I've ever been in my entire life. But I don't think I was ever this happy, before, with anyone else."

Eric feels like air has been knocked out of his lungs, his heart running wild inside him, crashing and beating and tossing itself around. He spares a glance at Sunwoo only to see him in a near shock state, mouth half-open and eyes glazed with tears.

"So. I wanna give this a shot, officially," Hyunjoon grins, deep emotion hanging onto his every word "Would you two morons be my boyfriends?"

Sunwoo reacts first, almost flies to Hyunjoon's side, tackling him in a hug that looks so tight and comfortable and _right_. "Of course I will, you fucking monster. Why do you have to be so extra?"

"It's my ninja way of life," Hyunjoon shrugs, never stops smiling as Sunwoo buries his face on his neck, peppering kisses all over it. 

Few people make Hyunjoon laugh like this, loud and open, with teeth and heart on display. Few people make Sunwoo lose his composure, get him to stutter and stumble over his words and shed tears and be openly, unapologetically loving.

They've really built something precious, the three of them.

"Youngjae?" Hyunjoon tilts his head and his voice cracks "Have I made you wait for too long?"

Eric loves him. Eric loves them. Will never forget them, or this moment. He might be getting carried away with his ridiculous thoughts, with words like _unforgettable_ and _complete_ and _perfect_ , and it's a terrifying prospect. He won't lie and say he's not scared.

But he has the bravest boys in the world by his side, so he thinks he'll be okay. 

"No," Eric says, and his voice cracks too, and he thinks of the first time they became three, fondness threatening to swallow him whole "Not for too long."

The smiles on Sunwoo and Hyunjoon's faces bloom exactly at the same time.

**Author's Note:**

> so it's over. disclaimers:  
> — a HUGE thanks to my favoritest hag in the world for proof-reading this for me and for supporting me as usual. love you so much it hurts  
> — fic title is from brown eyed girls' my style! stan beg, y'all. or at least their discography... a lot of fic title material  
> — this... might not be the last thing you'll see from sunhwallric and nyumoon on this universe :D  
> — hmu on twt (@/0309line) to talk about polyships


End file.
